I just had to pull over and puke on a street called “good intentions road” and that has to mean something right
today i had an existential crisis caused by my car’s “check engine” light i wrote the beginning of a new comic i wrote a poem about my relationship with a girl i got drunk and got a headache it’s only 8pm what other things can i fit in this day
jhermann: Things that DON’T make you special or unique in anyway: Liking classic rock. Drinking tea. Watching classic movies. Reading. Taking “artistic” photos. Preferring old rockstars over guys your own age. Preferring skinny pale guys over muscular tan guys. Being shy, “awkward” or “socially anxious”. A really weird birthmark that’s just a list of dates and times, and the first...
sometimes i think about the fact that i’m doing things right and following the plan and building upon my successes and i get really sad i was much happier two years ago when my life was totally empty and i had nothing i wish i had fallen apart and never put myself back together again being functional and productive is most likely the worst thing i have ever experienced
realhumanbaby: Obsessively thinking about what’s still cool and deciding that books aren’t, records aren’t, looking clean never was, birds are, making everyone around you confused is, and crying while walking down an empty street will always be
its most likely insensitive to “like” every post on someone’s blog immediately after you start following them right
wandatinasky: make sure to hurt someone you love today even if only in a small way
cyberthug13: im thinking about becoming a full time goon that chills in front of the local 7/11
postmaker: 1. call your landline from your mobile phone or vice versa 2. say the word “bomb”; this will trigger a recording mechanism that will now monitor the conversation 3. you can now read any screenplays that you’ve been working on to a government agent who will have to listen to them in full
reasons not to quit smoking
listinthings: makes you look like a famous person not as bad as cocaine it’s the easiest way to legally burn something you don’t need training for it lit cigarettes can be used to attack muggers you’re not a LOSER, are you?
commiepup: im post-life
beinggigantic: is there a welfare system in place for notes
spacetwinks: i don’t know why so many pop songs encourage ‘dancing the night away’ when most people on the floor are too anxious to even dance, appeal to a new demographic with ‘dancing is terrifying, let’s make out’
chriscad: literally incapable of saying no to a free beer
shutupmeeks: bugbucket: GameStop is committed to giving you, the gamer, the best deals on video games and video game accessories. That’s why, for a limited time only, if you show your dick to Kevin in the back room he will give you a copy of Poké̵mon Sapphire for free, HUrry, this offer expires soon and is only available at your local GameStop, power to the players
largecoin: how much do i have to pay tumblr to put my selfies on the radar
wiccaphase: IT’S A CRUEL WORLD BUT IT’S COOL
So yesterday I was driving in the NJ pine barrens and I hit what I thought was a puddle but was actually a foot of water. My car immediately died and started taking on water. Within ten minutes it was flooded and I couldn’t push it out of the water. And it was starting to get dark. I called the cops and tried to give them directions to where I was. By this point everything was soaked in...
Today I destroyed my life a little bit more with a ten second burst of bad judgment
powerburial: the citizen kane of text posts
finally got my hands on that new Baths album let me tell you woo album of the year for sure
nachobragers: neutral milk hotel? more like my opinion on this band is neutral. neutral milk hotel? more like they’re neutral milking this thing for all its worth neutral milk hotel? more like why don’t you neutral milk hotell me about a better band
devilgrrrl: sext: dont even look at me